Life Hacks: How To Pretend To Be Great At Piano When You’re Not

If Mr Nibblesworth can play ‘Imagine’, so can you.

Wouldn’t it be great to play the piano like this cat? Yep, but in the words of Gordon Gecko:  Time is money and life’s too short to smoke bad crack.

Instead of spending 10,000 hours hunched over the ivories, memorising chords, building muscle memory or – worst of all –  learning to sight read, you could be chillin’ with your homies, sippin’ gin and juice and partyin’ with dirty naked freaks.   Just learn to play one of these songs.  It’ll take, like, two days.  Promise.

1. Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata

Wow your dinner party guests with this incredibly simple, yet ridiculously effective piece.

Based on simple right-hand arpeggios and two-finger bass chords, this piece can be begun in a day, learned in a week and perfected in a month by any beginner who’s willing to put in the effort.  No-one can argue with Beethoven, let’s face it.

In a word: Beautiful.

Skill factor: **

Wow factor: *****

Cheat factor: *****

2. John Lennon – Imagine

In spite of enjoying being photographed in soft focus in empty rooms with huge, white, kitschy pianos, John Lennon was not much of a piano player.

The song is based around long, slow chords of C and F and only includes one black note.  If it’s good enough for Mr Nibblesworth…

In a word: Easy peasy. (OK, that’s two words, but never mind.)

Skill factor: *

Wow factor: ***

Cheat factor: ****

3. John Cage – 4’33”

Probably not a good one to bash out at a dinner party, unless your dinner guests are European intellectuals or Zen monks.

Four minutes and thirty three seconds of silence is not the most challenging of pieces to play. In fact, it’s much harder to listen to than to play. This one takes a second to master, but a lifetime to understand.

In a word: Deep.

Skill factor: *

Wow factor: *

Cheat factor: *****

NOW READ:  Stuff Europeans Do #1:  Not Want To Live In America

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About kerrysmallman

https://kerrysmallman.wordpress.com/

8 responses to “Life Hacks: How To Pretend To Be Great At Piano When You’re Not”

  1. gizmo says :

    I’m pretty sure you mean the first movement of Moonlight. The second and third will require just a tweak more practice.

    • kerrysmallman says :

      Ha! Very true! The trick is to play the first few bars and then people will assume you can play the rest anyway! 😉

  2. Gist says :

    I get pleasure from, lead to I discovered just what I was taking a look for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

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